My Peeps

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


I need to rant for a few minutes about a beverage that I enjoy. First of all, I feel that one of the best times to have an eSpresso is after a filling or large and delicious meal. I also like eSpresso as a mid day pick me up, but favor the aforementioned scenario. Sometimes I like my eSpresso with some lemon zest and Sugar in the Raw. Sometimes I just like it straight up, just like my coffee, hot and black.

Have you ever had a Frappucino from Starbucks? Although unhelathy and overpriced, these eSpresso based drinks are well worth the hours shaved off from your life expectancy and a couple of bucks. My favorite is the caramel one. By the way, those bottled concoctions from Starbucks that you can buy in grocery stores also marketed under the name Frappucino are simply not the same thing as ordering a vendi from the overly liberal and usually overly friendly barista at the actual Starbucks shop.

Thank you to the Italians for roasting and bringing us these energetic little beans of glory into our lives. I would also like to send out a BIG NO THANK YOU to those of you out there (especially in the foodservice industry) who insist on calling this beloved nectar of the gods eXpresso. Where the hell is the X coming from? Who started this trend? Why? Is it easier to say a word that you are famliar with such as "express", and then simply attaching a long "O" to end rather than force your brain to actually LEARN and COMPREHEND an entirely NEW word.

For those of you who are insistant on calling it eXpresso, I ask of thee, doth thou speaketh of an entirely different beverage? Perhaps eXpresso is actually a concoction I am not familar with. Maybe it brews quicker and more efficiently than eSpresso. Maybe you can drink it faster. Perhaps it has even more caffeine sending you on an express path to a heart attack quicker and more efficiently that espresso? What if you name was Kyle and I kept calling you Karl? You probably wouldn't care for that much would you? That being said, just think about eSpresso's feelings, the next time you stamp an unnecessarily extraeneous "X" into its precious name.

People it's pronounced eSpresso. The "X" is SILENT! Oh yeah, wait a minute....THERE IS NO FREAKIN' "X" to begin with! Please, I beg of you imaginary X creators, stop with the eXpresso shenanigans or I will be forced to take this to an even higher level of rage. I may even have to call Sports Rage to "vent my rage" over this matter even though it is totally unrelated to sports. My level of rage is clearly "Morency" right now. Maybe I shouldn't have had that double shot after dinner tonight.

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